It’s Friday, y’all. Hope you all had a great week. You’re almost to the promised land of weekendom, but first, let’s review.
This week, we learned that the ark park that is “NOT BEING FUNDED BY TAX DOLLARS” is … being funded almost entirely by tax dollars, thanks to the magic of tax increment financing.
Of course, to Ham, the real news is that he held a press conference, in which he announced the opening day of his pet project (July 7), no doubt with an air of such giddy excitement that even Howard Dean was all like, “Hey, Ken, that’s a little much.”
He’s still crowing about the news on a post over at his blog, which has a couple other interesting points.
In the traditional style of Friday fun, my responses will be mostly in the form of animated GIFs.
I truly believe that this project will be one of the greatest Christian evangelistic outreaches of our day.
Ever since Satan’s first attack in the Garden of Eden as written in Genesis 3:1 (“Did God really say . . . ?”), our adversary has been attacking the Word of God and working to shake the foundation of the Christian faith.
Fortunately, Satan wised up and stopped using talking animals to trick us all into not trusting God. That little display, while dramatic, really lost points in the subtlety department.
Speaking just for myself, when I encounter a talking serpent, my response tends to be less “thoughtfully consider doing what it suggests,” and more “run away screaming.”
Get ready; here comes the real gem.
Ham (with bold font for emphasis):
I believe that in our Western culture, we are seeing atheistic evolution and the idea of millions of years being the primary means that the adversary is using to undermine the authority of the Word of God, and to all ages.
Yeah. I can’t add anything to that. Other than, now I get why he likes Ben Carson so much.
At Answers in Genesis and the coming Ark Encounter attraction, we want to equip Christians and non-Christians to understand that God’s Word is true, that Noah really did build a huge Ark, that the animals really could have fit on board, and that the global Flood really happened as an outpouring of God’s judgment on a wicked generation.
Let’s take this point by point.
According to Ken Ham, his ridiculous vanity project will…
…“equip Christians and non-Christians to understand that God’s Word is true,”
First of all, to “equip” non-Christians, you have to get them to not only pay hard-earned money to be spoon-fed a worldview that in no way appeals to them, but also accept that view. Which, I’m sorry, but you guys don’t exactly have the best track record for convincing people who know what they’re talking about.
Secondly, and more importantly, building a $100 million boat-shaped building in rural Kentucky does not prove “that God’s Word is true.” It proves that you built a $100 million boat-shaped building in rural Kentucky. If I met a supervillain whose plan for global domination consisted of stealing the world’s supply of mylar balloons and holding it hostage, that would make more sense than this.
…“that Noah really did build a huge Ark,”
This might start to get a little repetitive, but the fact that a huge team of professionals hired by AiG can build a boat-shaped building using modern construction equipment and sophisticated engineering software does not prove that one 500-year-old man built a similarly sized seafaring vessel thousands of years ago using a wood hammer and a rock.
…“that the animals really could have fit on board,”
Yesterday, the Cincinnati Enquirer gave us a look at some of these “animals”:
You may have noticed something different between them and the ones Noah used. That is, these ones are slightly smaller. Oh, also, they’re freaking not real animals.
I get that all of my points here are kind of self-evident, but you can’t prove millions of animals lived on a wooden ship for 8,880 straight hours by putting fake animals in a ship-shaped building. I feel insane for even having to point this stuff out.
…“and that the global Flood really happened as an outpouring of God’s judgment on a wicked generation.”
Aaarrgh! You know what? We’re done here. One more quote, and I’m out. Even I have limits.
At the same time, Noah’s Ark is also a picture of God’s mercy and salvation. God had Noah build an Ark of salvation—and those eight people who went through the one door were saved from the waters of the Flood. We want people to know that God has provided an Ark of salvation for us, too—the Lord Jesus Christ. He is the only door by which anyone can enter this Ark of salvation.
Well, what do you know? A perfectly acceptable presentation of the gospel, and it didn’t even cost $100 million or make you look like a nut job and a shyster to the entire world. Something to think about, Hammy.