This is the first in an occasional series, “Dude, Where Are All the Dinosaurs?” The feature is designed to address why the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, does not mention dinosaurs even though — under the young-earth creationism view — these creatures survived the Great Flood on Noah’s ark and repopulated the earth (only to be completely eradicated later by “post-Flood climatic change, lack of food, disease and man’s activities”).
In today’s post, we’ll discuss the stunning recent discovery of a dialogue between Moses and Aaron (yes, the Moses and Aaron) that addresses the long-debated apparent absence of dinosaurs in the listings of “clean” and “unclean” animals in Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14.
The complete translation is transcribed below.
Aaron: Yo, Moses!
Moses: Hey, bro.
A: Hey! Listen, dude, I got a question for you.
A: Well, it’s just that some of us have been talking, and those lists you gave us that tell what we can and can’t eat are cool and everything, but there seems to be something missing.
M: Oh? And what would that be?
A: Yeah, you know, the big, scaly things we see out in the desert chasing the hippos sometimes. We’re calling them “dinosaurs” now.
M: Oh yeah. Hmm. They weren’t mentioned in the rules?
A: Nope. We read it a bunch of times to make sure. (pause) So, can you ask him?
M: I don’t know, Aar, doesn’t it kind of go without saying? Some of those critters are pretty big and scary-looking. I’m not sure we could eat one of them even if we wanted to.
A: Hey, I hear you, believe me. But, well, you know Joshua and Caleb. They’re itching to go try and take one down. They just don’t want to eat it if it’s against the Law.
M: (hesitates) Man, it’s just…I’m not sure I really want to bother the big guy about something like this.
A: Come on, please, bro? Please? You know you owe me one after I tried so hard to keep the people under control when they threw all their jewelry in the fire and that awesome calf jumped out, completely on its own and without anyone making it.
M: (gullibly) Yeah, that was pretty crazy. OK, I’ll do it.
(five minutes later)
M: Hey, Aaron! Good news! God said it’s OK to eat any dinosaur, if you can catch it. But he said not to put them in the list.
A: (shrugs) All right, Mo, that’s up to you. But, just so you know, my man Job put dinosaurs in his book — that’s all I’m saying.
M: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I just think the boss-man doesn’t want us to start all over again with the writing. (embarrassed) I think he’s still a little peeved about me breaking the tablets the last time.
A: (laughs) Yeah, you spaz! What was that all about anyway?
And that is why there’s no mention of dinosaurs in the Mosaic law’s dietary restrictions, even though they were walking around the whole time.