Moses: Let my people eat dinosaurs

Israelites were permitted to eat dinosaurs under Mosaic law. (photo by Dirk Ingo Franke, via Wikimedia Commons)

This is the first in an occasional series, “Dude, Where Are All the Dinosaurs?” The feature is designed to address why the Bible, particularly the Old Testament, does not mention dinosaurs even though — under the young-earth creationism view — these creatures survived the Great Flood on Noah’s ark and repopulated the earth (only to be completely eradicated later by “post-Flood climatic change, lack of food, disease and man’s activities”).

In today’s post, we’ll discuss the stunning recent discovery of a dialogue between Moses and Aaron (yes, the Moses and Aaron) that addresses the long-debated apparent absence of dinosaurs in the listings of “clean” and “unclean” animals in Leviticus 11 and Deuteronomy 14.

The complete translation is transcribed below.

Aaron: Yo, Moses!

Moses: Hey, bro.

A: Hey! Listen, dude, I got a question for you.

M: Shoot.

A: Well, it’s just that some of us have been talking, and those lists you gave us that tell what we can and can’t eat are cool and everything, but there seems to be something missing.

M: Oh? And what would that be?

A: Dinosaurs.

M: Huh?

A: Yeah, you know, the big, scaly things we see out in the desert chasing the hippos sometimes. We’re calling them “dinosaurs” now.

M: Oh yeah. Hmm. They weren’t mentioned in the rules?

A: Nope. We read it a bunch of times to make sure. (pause) So, can you ask him?

M: I don’t know, Aar, doesn’t it kind of go without saying? Some of those critters are pretty big and scary-looking. I’m not sure we could eat one of them even if we wanted to.

A: Hey, I hear you, believe me. But, well, you know Joshua and Caleb. They’re itching to go try and take one down. They just don’t want to eat it if it’s against the Law.

M: (hesitates) Man, it’s just…I’m not sure I really want to bother the big guy about something like this.

A: Come on, please, bro? Please? You know you owe me one after I tried so hard to keep the people under control when they threw all their jewelry in the fire and that awesome calf jumped out, completely on its own and without anyone making it.

M: (gullibly) Yeah, that was pretty crazy. OK, I’ll do it.

(five minutes later)

M: Hey, Aaron! Good news! God said it’s OK to eat any dinosaur, if you can catch it. But he said not to put them in the list.

A: (shrugs) All right, Mo, that’s up to you. But, just so you know, my man Job put dinosaurs in his book — that’s all I’m saying.

M: Yeah, yeah, I know, I know. I just think the boss-man doesn’t want us to start all over again with the writing. (embarrassed) I think he’s still a little peeved about me breaking the tablets the last time.

A: (laughs) Yeah, you spaz! What was that all about anyway?

Fin.

And that is why there’s no mention of dinosaurs in the Mosaic law’s dietary restrictions, even though they were walking around the whole time.

Tyler Francke

  • Dylan

    I am wondering, while I agree with evolution, you are not one of some I meet that does not believe some form of an Exodus happened, right?

    I ask because I find the Exodus to be the second most important part of the bible, next to the works and life of Jesus.

    • Hey Dylan! While I believe all scripture is rich with metaphorical, symbolic and deep theological meaning — and this absolutely includes the Book of Exodus — the answer is yes, I do believe “some form of an Exodus happened.”

      • Dylan

        Ok. I apologize if I came across as rude 🙁 . I just find Exodus to be amongst by favorite biblical tales.

        And I agree, much of scripture is filled with metaphors, symbolism, and deeper meaning than a plain reading entails. Jesus himself after all was a master of that.

        • Yes, I just wanted to clarify to ensure that we weren’t making some false distinction here (so common from the YEC crowd), that a text with historical value automatically means that it has no metaphorical or allegorical meaning (or that its metaphorical or allegorical meaning is irrelevant or unimportant).

          I don’t think you came off as rude at all. I’m happy to answer your questions.

          • Dylan

            Gotcha, understood 🙂 .

  • Yewnique

    Does AiG say how long dinosaurs were around after the Flood? Because, you know, they could have ALL become extinct by the time Moses wrote down the Law.

    • No, they believe they were around for a while. They teach that dragon legends from the medieval period, for example, are evidence that dinosaurs coexisted with humans and persisted into modern day.

      • Oh, I forgot about the dragon legends! There must have been lots of dragons in China, yes?