I think I have figured out GOP presidential candidate Ben Carson

Photo by Gage Skidmore, via Flickr.

Here’s what happened, guys.

It was a quiet, ordinary night in 2008. Dr. Ben Carson was at home, indulging in one of his favorite pastimes, which include carefully polishing his Presidential Medal of Freedom and conducting incredibly delicate and complicated neurosurgeries as easily as most of us put on a pair of shoes. (OK, bad analogy.)

But on this particular evening, he was consuming one of the two media outlets for which he turns off his otherwise supremely endowed and perfectly well-functioning brain: long-debunked Seventh-day Adventist theology and FOX News. In this case, the latter.

And on this seemingly inauspicious night, Dr. Carson beheld a clip of then-vice presidential candidate Sarah Palin speaking before an Assemblies of God congregation, mistaking U.S. troops in Iraq for the Blues Brothers (they were “on a mission from God”) and calling it the will of Divine Providence that already uber-rich Alaskan oil tycoons get a $30 billion pipeline they wanted built.

And the good doctor thought for a moment, and then muttered aloud, “Well, that’s not how you look like an insane, extremist would-be theocrat. This is how you look like an insane, extremist would-be theocrat.”

Hey, cut the guy some slack. At least he doesn’t think he’s Batman.

Tyler Francke is founder of God of Evolution and author of Reoriented. He can be reached at tyler@godofevolution.com.

  • Still on the Trump jokes.

    Never change, Tyler.

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    long-debunked Seventh-day Adventist theology and FOX News. In this case, the latter.

    Followed that link.
    Once more, the Seventh Day Adventists have their own unique take on things.

  • tgnoble

    Tyler, Why do you pose as a Christian when you don’t believe a word the Bible has to say?

    • Tyler, Why do you pose as a Christian

      Because I am a Christian. Why do you pose as someone who understands me and my own faith better than I do when you don’t actually have a clue what you’re talking about?

      when you don’t believe a word the Bible has to say?

      You mean besides believing all of it to be divinely inspired and infallible? You must have missed my statement of faith: http://www.godofevolution.com/statement-of-faith-for-christian-theistic-evolutionists/

      • tgnoble

        So you are a Christian, but you don’t believe what Christ taught? Interesting take, but that’s not being a Christian, that’s making an idol

        • Jesus never said anything about evolution or the age of the earth, nor did he instruct his followers to take a particular view of Genesis. Again, you don’t know what you’re talking about.

          • tgnoble

            Bullcrap. He said God created beasts of field and birds of air, not slime to become all life. Jesus also said Adam was created at the beginnging which would be 6 24 hour days. Scientific evidence supports Jesus clear teaching

          • You guys are so tiresome. The Bible also says that the sky is a hard firmament and the moon gives off its own light and snow is stored in giant invisible warehouses in the sky. It’s not about what God “said.” It’s about how what he said should be interpreted.

            As to what Christ said, first of all, he did not say Adam. He said humans were made male and female “at the beginning.” Which they were. At the beginning of mankind.

            I’m still waiting for the verse where Jesus clearly instructed his followers that Genesis absolutely has to be interpreted literally.

          • tgnoble

            The Bible requires no interpretation. It’s a clearly written book which God told the authors exactly what words to write. Jesus said man was made male and female at the beginning of creation, not at the beginning of mankind. And Jesus refred to Genesis as true factual history about 30 times https://answersingenesis.org/days-of-creation/did-jesus-say-he-created-in-six-literal-days/ unless you think Jesus was a moron or a liar

          • Chris

            He said God created beasts of field and birds of air, not slime to become all life.

            Quick illustration for you: Say you were gonna make some pancakes for breakfast tomorrow, k. Would you explain that as: harvesting the wheat, milling it to flour, gathering eggs, producing baking powder, churning cream into butter, etc… or would you just say “I made pancakes”. Somehow just shortening the process in your explanation doesn’t make it a lie.

            God said that He did it, not step-by-step how.

          • We’re not talking about the entire book of Genesis, we’re talking about the creation accounts, which he referred to exactly once. And he did so in answer to a theological question, not about creation or the age of the earth, but about divorce. Yeah that’s obviously a ringing endorsement of rigid young-earth creationism, which didn’t really begin to take shape until about 1900 years later.

          • tgnoble

            No wonder Christians are viewed as idiots, the scientifically illiterate people like you who believe in a fairytale of evolution will believe anything. If Genesis isn’t 24hour days the whole Bible is bullcrap because God lied starting at the very 1st verse

          • You think the world views Christians as idiots because of people like me? That’s interesting. Usually we’re accused of being “compromisers” and traitors, but I don’t think I’ve ever heard someone argues the world thinks we’re idiots because we accept the same scientific theories that they do. The way your brain works must be just fascinating.

      • tgnoble

        If you believe it’s divinly inspired and infallible then the only thing you can believe is that the world is 6,000 yrs old because that’s what the Bible teaches and what Jesus clearly taught. A 24 hour day six day creation.

        • *Divinely.

          If that’s true then you have a lot bigger problem than me, my friend, because most Christians disagree with you, as have Christian theologians and church fathers going back to the very beginning of the church.

          I’d tell you again that you don’t know what you’re talking about but you don’t seem to be any better at listening than you are at interpreting scripture, so it’s probably a waste of my time.

        • Chris

          The Bible teaches no such thing, nor does any recorded teaching of Jesus. The Earth did not come with a birth certificate, there is no definitive date given for any of it. The 6,000 number comes from adding up the ages of those listed in genealogies, not any kind of forensic science. Even the young earth model allows for variations up to 10,000 years.

          I for one believe God to be incapable of lying, so the evidence we find of asteroid craters, distant galaxies millions of light years away yet visible on Earth, and a slew of other obvious hurdles your view has to jump through kind of speaks for an older Earth than at least that.

          For since the creation of the world God’s invisible qualities — His eternal power and divine nature — have been clearly seen, being understood from what has been made, so that people are without excuse.

      • tgnoble

        I’ve seen your little webpage and your twitter followers so at least your speaking to virtually no one. Kent hovind and Ken ham lead more people to Christ in a day than you have in your life. The belief in the pseudoscience of evolution is absurd and not scriptural. double whammy

        • Do you mean before or after Kent went to prison for 10 years?

          • tgnoble

            He was Proven innocent of any wrongdoing #sotheresthat and he led over 900 men to Christ in prison

          • Oh yeah, I forgot about that. You know, just because it’s so unusual for someone to be convicted of all charges and forced to serve their entire prison sentence after they’ve been “proven innocent.”

          • tgnoble

            He was in jail for teaching against evolution, but you knew that. You are just trying to show off to your 2 twitter followers and the 3 visitors to your anti christian website

          • Chris

            Wait, so not believing in evolution is a crime??

          • tgnoble

            Evolutionism is the state religion, so yes guys like Kent hovind who has reached 52 million people worldwide are a threat to secularists

          • Yeah, actually he was in jail for not paying his employees, falsifying a bunch of documents, perjurying and stealing millions of dollars in taxes from the government. But sure, teaching against evolution. That’s a major crime, which is why Ken Ham and all the thousands of other young-earth proponents are behind bars too.

            It’s not really “showing off” to point out to someone who doesn’t have any idea what they’re talking about that they don’t have any idea what they’re talking about.

            You also don’t understand how Twitter works. These comments don’t get posted to Twitter.

          • zenlike

            Another lie. Prepare for eternal hellfire, godboy.

          • zenlike

            Liar. Isn’t that a sin?

  • Mahatma Randy

    This prompted an interesting discussion on Facebook the other day where I asked if it was bigoted of me to Not vote for someone because of their religion. I mean, I’d vote for a Muslim, a Jew, a Hindu, a Buddhist, a Sikh, whatever. i’d vote for any of them in a heartbeat, but I could never in good conscience bring myself to vote for a 7th day adventist, or a Mormon, or any of those wonky Christian-oid cults. I wouldn’t vote for Carson even if he wasn’t spouting lunacy because he BELIEVES lunacy. That, and he spent a decade hawking a dietary suplement that he claimed cured cancer and AIDS

    • That does sound like something that would spark an interesting discussion.