Today is a good day. Not only is it Friday, but it marks the return of our Friday Fun series. Aren’t you lucky.
But first, a bit of sad news.
As you may have heard, this past Wednesday was “Back to the Future” Day, commemorating the film series that tells the madcap story of the world’s worst Oedipus complex and his time paradox-defying adventures with an insane Alzheimer’s patient.
It promised to be a day of whimsy and lazier-than-usual mainstream news reporting, until tragedy struck.
The above meme memorializes the loss of Hambone’s brain. Because, obviously, a brain that is functioning so poorly that it believes a problem for its worldview can be addressed by arguing it’s also a much less serious (and already solved) problem for the opposing view can’t really be said to be functioning at all.
Rest in peace, Ham’s brain. We hardly knew ye.
Also, stay tuned for a touching slideshow I’m developing.
If you’re unfamiliar with the concept, it is, well, a floating forest, approximately the size of Eurasia, which young-earth proponents posit once drifted peacefully around the Panthalassic Ocean prior to the great flood.
It is how young-earth spec fiction writers — ahem — I mean, scientists explain the trillions of tons of coal buried underground, which could have only been made from more trees than have ever been on Earth’s dry land at any one time.
I don’t think I’m overstating it when I say the Floating Forest is the single greatest, loveliest and most glorious idea to emerge out of the happy madness that is the working creation science community. It is perfect, a thing of beauty. Sublime.
Long-time and astute readers of this blog may or may not have picked up on the fact that I am casually opposed to the young-earth creationism movement.
But hear me on this: If the universe really is 6,000 years old, the only reason will be because of God’s plans to resurrect the Floating Forest on the new earth, that the faithful in heaven may send our bravest young men and women on quests to hunt the woolly fish mammoths and barter for magic items with the mysterious kingdom of amphibious merpeople who inhabit it.
Here’s one reason intelligent design makes it look like God had no idea what he was doing when he made people.
And here are 100 other reasons the earth is really, really old.
Have a wonderful and blessed weekend.