Answers in Genesis unveils its latest project: The Elisha Encounter

The deadly horror of God’s word comes to life in AiG’s latest project.

With Answers in Genesis’ Ark Encounter set to open in just a couple weeks, CEO Ken Ham is busy planning the next way AiG can help people experience the historical reality of God’s judgments: the Elisha Encounter.

As Ham told Totally Legitimate News (TLN) reporters earlier this week, “The Ark Encounter is a great opportunity for people to experience God’s providence for His creations that he saved from the flood, and see how real the history in God’s word is. But I wanted to explore ways that people could better experience the terror of God’s judgment as well.”

Enter: The Elisha Encounter. Inspired by the prophet Elisha-directed mauling of 42 children as recorded in 2 Kings 2:23-25, the planned exhibit will include female bears that will roam the grounds of the Creation Museum and Ark Encounter, tearing up any AiG detractors who visit.

In a statement to TLN reporters, an AiG representative explained, “We can train the bears to respond to specific words and phrases with an attack. Of course, ‘Go on up, you bald-head’ will be in their vocabulary, but we don’t see why we can’t include other phrases like ‘Evolution is well supported by evidence’ or ‘Genesis may have been inspired by Ancient Near Eastern myths.’ That should keep all true Christians safe, while allowing the bears to target compromisers.”

AiG is well-known for censoring other Christians who disagree with AiG’s extremely literal interpretations of Old Testament stories. Usually that is done on their web media, but this new exhibit offers an opportunity to keep the Ark Encounter and Creation Museum safe from the presence of dissenting opinions.

When asked if Ham was at all concerned about his own safety with female bears on the loose, eating people, he jokingly replied, “Not at all! Bears don’t like Ham!”

And hey — can you blame them?

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  • ashleyhr

    I believe you are having a laugh?

  • Jazz Hands

    I DARE you to put this in The Onion or even the Babylon Bee XD

  • Brilliant. How much funding will AiG need to surround this park with fiery chariots?

    • It depends on how much they get their new BFF Matt Bevin to gift them in tax breaks.

  • This post is tagged “Humor” so that is how I know it isn’t meant to be taken seriously. The writers of Genesis did not tag the Creation accounts with any such labels. Therefore, the stories in Genesis were real, historical events.

    • Andy

      I don’t think the writer(s) of Psalms 93 and 96 tagged them ‘Poetry’ either. Must we take those literally as well and accept that the earth does not move?
      God has given us brains which have the ability to write in different styles, and when we read to discern those styles and interpret the text accordingly. They don’t need to be tagged. The Genesis accounts of creation have clear signs of a poetic structure and are very different to the literary forms used in (say) the OT narrative history books or instructions for building the tabernacle.

      • I agree. I was being facetious.

        YECs argue that the accounts in Genesis are clearly historical and meant to be read/understood as such.

        I am not YEC, by the way.

        • Andy

          Doh! Epic fail of my online sarcasm sensors. Seems like us Brits have lost our sense of humour over the last few days for some reason…

  • Ethan Leavitt

    Will there also be an animatronic exhibit for the mauling of the 42 children at the creation musuem?

    • Only if they can’t get enough real heathen children to come and get mauled.

  • Headless Unicorn Guy

    Though AIG is in the news these days — they’ve opened their lifesize Noah’s Ark at their under-construction Ark Encounter theme park. According to the radio, there are only ten pairs of animals in it, and two of them are T-Rexes.
    But then, previous coverage here has shown that a plain reading of “gopher wood” means concrete block.

    • But then, previous coverage here has shown that a plain reading of “gopher wood” means concrete block.

      Haha!

  • Zelc✓ᵀʳᵘᵐᵖ

    The funny thing is that, going by the original Hebrew, the bears actually maimed teenagers rather than small children.

    • Matthew Funke

      I’m not sure I follow you here. Why is that the funny thing? Would this make the exhibit Tyler proposes (with his tongue in his cheek) better?

      (I think one of the points Tyler wanted to make is that the story of Noah’s ark is seldom treated with the gravitas it seems to deserve — which this treatment of this story about Elisha and the death of forty-two young men also does.)

      • Zelc✓ᵀʳᵘᵐᵖ

        Because Ham tends to be arbitrary when it comes to the text in the original tongue. Every time the enemy uses the story to make the Bible look bad, they always portray the bears’ victims as six-year-olds.

        I know it’s satire, but it’s pretty good

        • Matthew Funke

          Oh, yeah, I see what you’re getting at.

          Agreed. It’s a brilliant touch.