If you believe in marathons, prepare to have your faith shaken. Marathons are a lie. They don’t exist. You may be saying, “That’s not true! Marathons are real. They happen all the time.”
How deceived you are. Did you ever stop to consider that that’s just what the running establishment and the media want you to think? Look at the facts!
1. No one has ever seen a marathon. People can run short distances, sure. You may have seen this at an athletic event down at the local track: Kids running one mile, maybe two. But when was the last time you saw someone run more than that? Never? That’s what I thought.
It’s one thing to run one mile, or even two; running 26.2 miles is quite another. Seems like a pretty big “leap of faith” for you to believe in something you’ve never seen just because you have observed a fundamentally identical process at work on a smaller scale, doesn’t it?
2. People believe in marathons because they want to. So, now you’re wondering, “What about all the people who have attended marathons? Are they lying?” Not necessarily. Perhaps they just have different starting points, different lenses through which they are viewing the evidence.
Maybe you have even been to a marathon yourself. But did you really see what you thought you saw? Think about what you actually observed: People starting a race and people finishing a race. Or maybe, you saw a group of people run by somewhere along the supposedly “26.2-mile” course.
You did not see anyone run 26.2 miles. You only believe that you did because you presupposed that that’s what you were going to see.
3. Marathons make no sense. A marathon is 26.2 miles long. Think about how far that is. It would be like running straight up five Mount Everests or across more than half of Rhode Island. Sound possible? Didn’t think so.
I can tell you right now, that the odds of me being able to run a marathon, untrained and unguided, would be trillions to one. And I may not be a betting man, but even I know that those are not good odds.
4. People who run marathons hate God. I can see how desperate you are now, grasping at straws to find something, anything, to shore up your belief in marathons. Your last hope, of course, lies with the marathoners themselves. Thousands of people run marathons every year, you say, so they must be real.
But, here, we must tread more carefully than ever before, lest we risk contradicting God’s word. First of all, we know the origin of the marathon comes from the legend of the Greek messenger Pheidippides, who ran from the battlefield of Marathon all the way to Athens to announce that the Persians had been defeated. He got his message out, just before he collapsed and died from exhaustion.
So, when you support marathons, you are not only celebrating someone’s death, but also a legend that arose out of a pagan society. Doesn’t sound to me like something God would bless, but let’s look at what the Bible says.
Most of the time the Bible mentions “running,” it is the context of sin and evil! Here are a few examples: “For their feet run to evil, and they make haste to shed blood” (Proverbs 1:16), “Woe to those who rise early in the morning, that they may run after strong drink” (Isaiah 5:11) and “They leap upon the city, they run upon the walls” (Joel 2:9). Sure, Isaiah 52:7 says, “How beautiful on the mountains are the feet of those who bring good news,” but notice that it does not say the feet are running.
Bottom line, scripture clearly defines running as a slippery slope to alcoholism, theft and murder. So, when you believe someone who says they have run a marathon, you are believing someone who is or soon will be a murderer.
In conclusion, marathons have never been observed, and the idea that they could even be possible makes no sense to me. Furthermore, the concept runs counter to the clear teachings of the Bible. People believe in marathons because they don’t want to be accountable to the word of God.
Editor’s note: I hope you liked this little piece of satire. Other than the odds against me completing a marathon being trillions to one, it is mostly untrue. The Bible actually speaks very positively of running, such as in Hebrews 12:1-3 and 1 Corinthians 9:24-27, and I greatly admire distance runners.
Creationists, like Ken Ham (who teaches children to say, “Were you there?” when presented with the evidence for evolution and an old earth) and Ray Comfort (whose latest project, “Evolution vs. God,” is built on the premise that evolution has no evidence and is based on faith), say evolution on a large scale is invalid science because it has never been observed. They imply that something must be observable in order for it to be true, regardless of the evidence for its existence we may have.
The problems with this approach are obvious. If we had to follow this standard in other aspects of our lives, we would be unable to do science with any forces or objects that we can’t directly observe (including gravity, electromagnetic fields and subatomic particles), we would almost never be able to convict someone of a crime and we probably wouldn’t make very good friends or spouses (since we couldn’t trust anything someone talked about unless we had experienced the same thing).
We cannot see electromagnetic fields, but we know they exist because we can see the impact they have on other objects. In the same way, we cannot see macroevolution, because the process takes longer than a human lifetime, but we can see the “impact” of its existence in the path evolutionary change took through the fossil record.
We know large-scale changes are possible because we see no evidence of mammals and birds co-existing with Devonian placoderms in rock that is apparently 400 million years old. Obviously, it was many “changes in kind” that coaxed the modern life forms we see today out of the simpler ones of that era, because if it didn’t, then where did we all come from? If modern animals did not evolve from Devonian life, but were created with them during the same week, they would have been buried right alongside each other in ancient rock.
“You weren’t there; you don’t know what happened.” Ironically, courts are developing stricter and stricter guidelines on the admission of eyewitness testimony, as repeated studies demonstrate its unreliability. I know that if I were a detective, I would always prefer hard evidence. Yes, a fingerprint cannot tell you how it got there — you have to use your brain. But it also cannot lie or be mistaken. And the same is true of fossils.
As you head to Facebook to join the “Christians Against Marathons” Page, why not Like us as well? Support us in our fight against long-distance races.